Top 10 Kinds of Jelly Beans

Jelly bean season is among us. Every year right before Easter, stores seem to stock up on different types of Jelly Beans. I don’t know if jelly beans are the official food of Easter but it sure seems that way. While Jelly Belly’s are absolutely delicious, it’s time to broaden your jelly bean horizons. Here are 10 alternatives that are great. Whatever you do, don’t buy those nasty store brand name jelly beans.

10. Smuckers Jelly Beans

Add some bean to the Jelly. The same Smucker’s that makes jelly also makes jelly beans.

9. Sweet Tarts Jelly Beans 

For the crowd that loves the tangy things in life.

8. Lemonhead Jelly Beans

The Lemonhead jelly beans have that same waxy texture as their normal candy.

7. Mike and Ike Jelly Beans

Let’s be honest here, Mike and Ike’s essentially are jelly beans that are a different shape.

6. Nerds Jelly Beans

Get the bumpy Nerds texture in the form of a jelly bean.

5. Hawaiian Punch Jelly Beans

The red jelly beans taste exactly like Hawaiian punch. If you want to really go nuts throw some Hawaiian Punch jelly beans into your Hawaiian Punch.

4. Jolly Rancher Jelly Beans

These are WAY better than normal Jolly Rancher’s. They should stick to jelly beans all the time.

 

3. Sour Patch Jelly Beans

I know you’re salivating just thinking about these.

2. Belly Flops

These are made by Jelly Belly but they’re way cooler. They’re the reject jelly belly’s. Some have funny shapes. Some have too much flavor. You can’t go wrong with these.

1. Starburst Jelly Beans

Hands down the best jelly bean’s I’ve ever tried. Every flavor is delicious. Skip the small bag and buy a giant one! 

IHOP National Pancake Day

Everyone loves pancakes. It’s probably because they give you an excuse to eat cake for breakfast. Good news for all you pancake lovers out there. Clear your schedules next Tuesday February, 28,  because it is the 7th annual IHOP national pancake day. This means you can score some free pancakes! Go into any IHOP throughout the country between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m. and you’ll get a free short stack. Sort of.

IHOP is hoping you will donate dough to help raise money for Children’s Miracle Network Hospital and other local charities. They hope to raise $8 million dollars this year. Go to IHOP next Tuesday and bring your appetite. It’s always fun to eat for a good cause.

 

Fast Food Trivia: Why Does Wendy’s have Square Burgers?

I used to love going to Wendy’s in high school and asking the manager “Excuse me sir, why are your hamburgers square?”. He would respond “because we don’t cut corners”. I thought it was an acceptable answer…even though clearly corners are cut to make a square burger. Have you ever wondered who that red head is? What’s the story with Dave Thomas? If you have, you’re in the right place.

1.Who started Wendy’s?

A man named Dave Thomas started Wendy’s in 1969 in Columbus Ohio. You probably recognize him from the commercials

2. Who is that red headed girl? Is that Wendy?

Actually that is Melinda Lou who was Dave’s 8 year old daughter at the time. Her nickname was “Wenda” when she was younger because she couldn’t pronounce her own name. What did she look like?

Here is what she looks like now

3. Why are Wendy’s hamburgers square?

It isn’t because they don’t cut corners. In an interview with Dave Thomas from 2001 he said the reason his burgers are square is because of fond memories of a burger restaurant from his childhood. It was called Kewpee Burger and it was located in Kalamazoo, Michigan. They served square patties.

4. What is a frosty? Isn’t it just a chocolate milk shake?

The frosty was an original menu item at Wendy’s and cost .35 cents. It’s actually a mix between chocolate and vanilla because 100% chocolate was too strong.

5. Does Wendy’s all it’s original menu items?

Everything except for the sugar cream pie.

6.Did Wendy’s always have a chicken sandwich on their menu?

They introduced the original chicken sandwich in 1980 and the spicy chicken sandwich was initially a limited time offer but was so popular it stayed on the menu full time in 1996.

7. Has Wendy’s always offered a value menu?

Wendy’s offered the first ever single price point value menu in 1988. Everything on the value menu was offered at .99 cents.

8. Who is that annoying where’s the beef lady?

That would be Clara Peller. She was a retired manicurist who was 81 years old at the time she was asked to do the campaign.

9. What is the most awesome menu item?

Wendy’s is probably the only burger chain to serve baked potatoes and chili. The winner of best menu item however goes to the baconator double

10. How popular is Wendy’s?

It’s the third biggest hamburger chain with 6,650 locations worldwide. They trail only Mcdonald’s who has 31,000 locations and Burger King who has 12,000 locations.

Top 10 Fattest States…And How They Got That Way

10. Michigan

Overweight: 66.8 %

Obese: 31.7%

Staple Food: Pasty

SSBBW Meal finder: B & C Party Pizza. Eat a 7 pound pizza in an hour and get $200.

Famous Fatty: “The Sheik” Ed Farhat

Fat Fact: Battle Creek MI is known as the cereal city as it produces the most cereal in the U.S.

9. Arkansas

Overweight: 67.2%

Obese: 30.9%

Staple Food: Jelly Pie

SSBBW Meal finder: Wimpy’s Burger. Eat 4 pounds of beef, 1 pound of fries and a 24oz shake and win a free shirt.

Famous Fatty: Kevin Williams

Fat Fact: Milk is the official state beverage.

8. South Carolina

Overweight: 67.4%

Obese: 32%

Staple Food: Benne Wafers

SSBBW Meal finder: Thorny’s Steakhouse. An 80 oz Steak.

Famous Fatty: Dizzy Gillespie

Fat Fact:Housed the first tea farm in the U.S.

7. Oklahoma

Overweight: 67.3 %

Obese: 31.3 %

Staple Foods: Fried Okra

SSBBW Meal finder: Route 66 Diner. A 66 oz chicken fried steak.

Famous Fatty: The crying cheerleader

Fat Fact: Okmulgee holds the record for the largest pecan pie.

6. Louisiana

Overweight: 66.4 %

Obese: 31.7 %

Staple Food: Crayfish

SSBBW Meal Deal: The Fat Cat Cafe. A 5 pound sausage.

Famous Fatty: Edward Douglass White

Fat Fact:Produces 98% of the world’s crayfish.

5. Kentucky

Overweight: 67.5 %

Obese: 31.8 %

Staple Food: Fried Chicken

SSBBW Meal Deal: Griff’s Deli. 6 pounds of potatoes, 2 1/2 pounds of chicken, bacon, cheese, onion, tomato, jalapeno, sour cream and butter.

Famous Fatty: Colonel Sanders

Fat Fact: Kaelin’s restaurant in Louisville claims to be the inventor of the cheeseburger.

4. Tennessee

Overweight: 67.8 %

Obese: 31.7%

Staple Food: The Elvis Sandwich ( Peanut butter, bacon and banana)

SSBBW Meal Deal: Sweet P’s BBQ and Soul House. A 5 pound bbq pork burrito with 1/2 pound of mac and cheese and 1/2 pound of banana pudding.

Famous Fatty: Aretha Franklin

Fat Fact: Mountain Dew was invented here.

3. West Virginia

Overweight: 67.9 %

Obese: 32.9 %

Staple Food: The pepperoni roll

SSBBW Meal Deal: The Poky Dot. 4 eggs, ham, bacon, sausage, pancakes, biscuits and sausage gravy, breakfast, potatoes, toast. All served up on a trash can lid.

Famous Fatty: Huntington, West Virginia. Thank you Jamie Oliver.

Fat Fact: The first ever food stamps were issued in West Virginia.

2. Alabama

Overweight: 70%

Obese: 33%

Staple Food: Corn Bread

SSBBW Meal Deal: Saucy Q BBQ. Eat a 2.5 pound pulled pork sandwich with a pound of coleslaw and a pint of BBQ sauce.

Famous Fatty: Charles Barkley

Fat Fact: Home of George Carver Washington who developed more than 100 uses for peanuts.

1. Mississippi

Overweight: 68.8%

Obese: 34.5%

Staple Food: Mud Pie

SSBBW Meal Deal: Over the Top. The pickle vat challenge. Eat 16 scoops of ice cream.

Famous Fatty: Oprah

Fat Fact: The first state to bottle Coca-Cola.

Irony: You Can’t Make This Stuff up

Heart Attack Grill isn’t joking when they say they have a taste worth dying for! Someone had a heart attack at Heart Attack Grill while eating a 6,000 calorie triple bypass burger. No irony here, move along people. Heart Attack Grill is still awesome. This guy would have had a heart attack last night regardless of where he ate dinner last night. The craziest part about this story to me is people thought it was a joke and a publicity stunt. They sat there and took videos and pictures while this poor guy was having a heart attack.

Another pretty ridiculous story that came out today was about a nasty stinkin’ government worker who snatched a 4 year old preschooler’s lunch because it wasn’t healthy enough. The child brought in a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, potato chips and juice from home. The lunch was confiscated and she was forced to eat…chicken nuggets! I’m sure she was really disappointed about that one…Who would steal bag lunches?

There’s a fine line here. Really, it’s none of the governments business what a parent feeds their child. BUT at the same time, it’s borderline child abuse to feed your child garage every single day of their lives growing up. Anyway with the fine nutritional education our government has given us, it’s no surprise parents pack their kids terrible lunches

Apparently irony is the theme of the day today.

THIS JUST IN: CHILD HAS PROCESSED MEAT AND BREAD REPLACED WITH BREADED PROCESSED MEAT

Now that’s news.

Say I Love You…with Pizza Hut

I know what you’re thinking…”Oh shit, it’s Valentine’s Day and I forgot I was going to propose to my girlfriend today and I only have $10,000 in my wallet and how am I ever going to pull this off!?” Don’t worry, Pizza Hut has you covered. Just order the Dinner Box Proposal Package.

Here’s what you get:

A ruby engagement ring

A photographer and videographer

A Limo

Flowers

A Fireworks show

AND Pizza Hut’s new $10 dinner box that includes on medium one topping pizza, five bread sticks with marinara sauce, and ten cinnamon sticks.

If you want pepperoni and sausage you pay extra. That’s messed up. Don’t forget to tip 20%. I’ll stick with the taco bell wedding package.

For $5o, you get:

A custom “will  you marry me?” fire sauce packet

A chihuahua to officiate the wedding

matching “Taco Bell” ring tattoos

A 5$ box

Scratch that. They’re working together anyway! Damn you corporate America!

 

I Really Need Your Help!!

I have some good news and some bad news. The good news first: Proctor and Gamble was originally going to sell Pringles to Diamond Foods for $1.5 billion, but has decided to back out of the deal. The article states Proctor and Gamble is now searching for a new buyer! This is where I need your help! I want to purchase Pringles for Fatty Lane! The problem is I’m about $1.4999999999999 billion dollars short. I’m trying to come with some ideas to raise the money. I’m pretty sure a bake sale would only bring in about the half the money needed to make the purchase. If only I could come up with a few more ideas. I would create the best Pringles flavors EVER!

Fatty Lane Guide: Mastering Valentine’s Day

Everyone’s favorite Hallmark holiday is coming up! If you have a special fatty out there, you’ve come to the right place! If you don’t, there is still time to find one! Finding the perfect gift is always a challenge but here are some ideas.

Sexy Lingerie:

Girls love home-made gifts and sexy gifts. Why not give her both? Make her some beef jerky underwear.


Chocolate:

All girls love chocolate. That’s an easy one. Fat girls love all food so you need to step up your game. Nothing says “I love you” like some smoked meat. Try these Bacon Chocolate Truffles.

Jewelery:

Diamonds are the way to any girl’s heart. Bacon is the way to any fatty’s stomach. Let her know that any time is bacon time with a bacon watch.

Take her out for a nice dinner:

Duh! If she’s fat she likes food!

If these ideas don’t work for you, just browse around Fatty Lane! You can learn a fat song to sing her or bake her some cupcakes. Or just get her a card…

 

A Model…Idiot

Susanne Eman, meet Ioana Spangenberg. She needs some help. She is a model who has tried EVERYTHING to gain weight! And she just can’t do it! Poor little thang.

That’s a 20 inch waist you’re looking at. In a recent article, Ioana says she has tried everything to gain weight around her midsection. She has tried eating three whole meals a day! She has tried snacking on chocolate and crisps ( I hate the word crisps. Call it a chip or a cracker!). Hmm…where have I heard that line before? “I’ve tried everything and nothing works!” Oh, that’s right, it’s the anthem of fat dieters.

There’s a big fat acceptance movement and even a pro anorexic movement so why is this woman kidding herself? Why the hell would she try to gain weight around her midsection if her tiny ass waist is the reason she’s a model in the first place? It’s like a sumo wrestler trying to lose weight. It just doesn’t make sense. But, if you really want to gain weight Ioana, try some of the Fatty Lane cookbook recipes! 😉

Seven Layer Cupcakes

Sausage Stuffed Duck Fat Fried Mac and Cheese

3X3 Krinkle Cut Nachos

These guarantee you will get fatter.