Fatty Lane Guide: Dominate Thanksgiving Trivia

When your Thanksgiving guests/family/enemies try to be the life of the party by telling everyone how healthy they are eating only white meat and not gaining weight, you need to be ready with a comeback to put them in their place. Here’s a list of some lame phrases “healthy” people like to say on Thanksgiving and how to one-up them in front of everyone with awesome trivia…because everyone knows that’s what family gatherings and holidays are REALLY about.

The Overall Meal

They Say: “the average American gains 5 pounds over the holidays.”

You say: “Well the average American consumes 2,000-4,000 calories on Thanksgiving Day. Have fun being less than average when I’m achieving Greatness.”

Turkey

They Say: “You know the white meat has the least amount of fat and is the healthiest for you, I choose to eat that.”

You say: “Did you know the fattest turkey ever was 86 pounds? That’s the size of a large dog. And turkeys have poor night vision.”

Mashed Potatoes

They say: “You know those potatoes will be much healthier without heavy cream”

You say:”You know there are about 100 varieties of edible potatoes. Pass the cream…and the gravy.”

Pie

They say: “If you use a natural walnut crust, It’s way healthier.”

You say: “The Biggest Pumpkin Pie ever was 2020 Pounds. Pass the whipped cream.”

Cranberries

They say: “Cranberries are full of antioxidants, I’ll take extra!”

You say: “Native Americans pounded cranberries into a paste mixed with dried meat and called it pemmican…and it wasn’t white meat.”

Stuffing

They say ” Are those multi-grain bread crumbs?”

You say: “Did you know that stuffing dates back to the Roman Empire, where the ancient cookbook “Apicius de re Coquinaria” had recipes that called for stuffed chicken, rabbit and pork.”

Gravy

They Say: “I’ll pass on the gravy, it’s not good for you.”

You Say: “You are an idiot.”

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