Halloween Hangover

We Americans love our Halloween candy. We spent $2.3 Billion dollars buying it this year. Trick-or-treaters don’t get poisoned candy or razor blade apples, unless they’re poisoned by someone they know, they get $2.3 billion worth of candy in their pillow cases. Health experts warn about cavities and weight gain on Halloween, when everyone knows the fun starts the day after.

Sure Halloween night is awesome. It was the best night of the year when you were a kid. You put on your favorite costume (or fat costume) and run around the neighborhood with silly string and glow sticks. You remember the houses from the year before that gave you king size candy bars and which houses gave you the black licorice. You remember who put buckets out with the “Take 1 piece” sign. You remember which house left their mean dog on the porch. You ran around all night ringing doorbells and having a good time knowing the best part was yet to come.

When you got home you dumped all your candy out on your bed and sorted through it. You had the good pile which included full candy bars and your favorite mini and snack size packs. You had the bad pile that you tried to pawn off on your little brother. And then there was the half opened candy that mom confiscated because she was sure that half opened jolly rancher would kill you.

The day after Halloween is when the real fun starts…you get to eat all your candy. You don’t want to save it so it lasts until next year. You earned this candy and you will do everything you can to eat it all in one day.

Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta said that by visiting 15 houses, the average trick-or-treater will collect 60 pieces of “fun-size” candy. This would be equivalent to 4,800 calories, one and a half cups of fat and three cups of sugar. If i came to school and said i only got 60 pieces of candy and hit up 15 houses, I would be the laughing stock. This is a terrible underestimate. Only 4800 calories worth?? Susanne Eman eats that for breakfast!

The article offers “fun” ways to trick your kids into not eating their candy. Buy some candy back! Bribe them with a small toy! That will teach the kids a positive lesson! I say let those kids eat until they throw up. That’s a lesson in itself. Yeah, yeah,childhood obesity, blah, blah, blah. Maybe the “experts” should focus on the other 364 days a year and kids should get to be kids on this one.

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2 responses

  1. 15 houses and 60 pieces of candy is hardly worth getting dressed up for. Each of my three kids came home with well over 200 pieces of candy and hit about 60 to 70 homes in our area. God knows how many calories that is and frankly I don’t care. Halloween comes once a year and between now and thru Christmas, my kids and wife are going to over indulge and gain weight, it happens every year and it’s just the way it is. I’m not going to bribe them and take away their enjoyment of the season, that’s ridiculous. Americans are fat and getting fatter; it’s time all the obesity police got used to it because it’s just a by-product of the world we have created.

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