Yesterday was our first annual food day! Finally a holiday that celebrates fatness everywhere!!! The point of food day is to truly enjoy everything you eat. Oh wait…never mind, it’s to celebrate eating healthy and local food? Sorry fatties, maybe this day isn’t for you.
The day was launched by the
terrorist vegan promoting organization CSPI, or Center for Science and Public Interest. All around the country, States held different events to celebrate the day. In Times Square there was an “eat it” where a group ate a balanced meal of mostly local ingredients from farmers markets. Georgia had a food day with 1500 attendees. Detroit offered school children local produce such as acorn squash and blueberries. One second grader said enthusiastically, “It’s about time they feed us acorn squash and not this nasty pizza, french fries and soda…”
According to expert nutrition guy New Mayor Michael Bloomberg, all we need to do is “eat everything, but you’ve just gotta do it in moderation. That’s the key.” Alright this is a pretty lame holiday, so I propose a new National Food Day v. 2.0 for next year. This will really celebrate fatties and ssbbw’s everywhere. It’s called The National Food Day Challenge! We’ll even follow Mayor Bloomberg’s advice and eat everything in moderation. To complete the challenge, all you need to do is eat one of each of items shown and listed below. Nevada will be the most fun. It really exemplifies the true American spirit. Now get out there and start practicing for next years National Food Day Challenge!