All Fat People go to Hell?

About 63% of all Americans are overweight or obese. 74% of Americans believe there is a heaven, while only 59% believe there is a hell (hmm?). The religious “majority” loves to spread the “word” of the bible to fellow non-believers in hopes that one day they too will waste an hour every Sunday sitting in a church pew…so they can go to heaven.

There seems to be some conflicting ideology when it comes to taking the Bible literally among Christians. Christians love to say the Bible is the word of God, and then they proceed to tell you which parts you should follow literally and which parts you shouldn’t.

They get religious tattoos to profess their faith…

In the beginning, God created tattoo guns


…even though the Bible clearly states in Leviticus 19:28 “‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.” They proceed to argue “Well you can’t take the whole bible literally…” I guess everyone can pick and choose which parts they decide to follow.

The south is the fattest part of the country, it’s also the most religious part of the country. They better hope for their sake the bible isn’t literal or they’re in a heap of trouble when the afterlife comes.

Gluttony [gluht-n-ee] 


excessive eating and drinking.

It’s one of the Seven Deadly Sins. There have been a few proponents of gluttony throughout history and two big(pun not intended) one’s were Thomas Aquinas and another was St. Gregory the Great. Aquinas viewed gluttony as:

  • Praepropere – eating too soon.
  • Laute – eating too expensively.
  • Nimis – eating too much.
  • Ardenter – eating too eagerly
  • Studiose – eating too daintily
  • Forente – eating wildly

St. Gregory the Great viewed it as:

  • Eating before the time of meals in order to satisfy the palate.
  • Seeking delicacies and better quality of food to gratify the “vile sense of taste.”
  • Seeking after sauces and seasonings for the enjoyment of the palate.
  • Exceeding the necessary amount of food.
  • Taking food with too much eagerness, even when eating the proper amount, and even if the food is not luxurious

Now obviously most people are obese because exercising is hard or they have a genetic thyroid problem, a few are obese because of over stuffing their faces with food. So what does the Bible have to say about gluttony?

Proverbs 23:20-21 says:

Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.

1 Corinthians 3:16:16-17 says:

Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

Psalm 78:18 says:

They tested God in their heart by demanding the food they craved.

Proverbs 28:7 says:

The one who keeps the law is a son with understanding, but a companion of gluttons shames his father.

"Obey the bible or you will burn! Oh and free donuts after Church"

Proverbs 25:16 says:

If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.

Proverbs 25:27 says:

It is not good to eat much honey; So to seek one’s own glory is not glory.

Now I know religious people hate logic, but it seems logical that being obese would be considered a sin of gluttony and therefore would send you straight to hell…unless of course you’re sorry, then everything’s cool.


One response

  1. Pingback: SSBBW Meal Finder: Indiana State Road 37 | Fatty Lane

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