Fat Salute: My big fat funny pug

Fat is funny. Wrinkly, squishy faces are funny. Snorting sounds are funny. If A+B=C, then my pug=Funny.

My fat pug Wrigley is my favorite dog ever. She is fat and lazy and she has an attitude problem. She isn’t mean at all, but she could care less about the existence of anyone else around her. She won’t eat her dog food unless you put human food on top of it. She proves beggars can be choosers. She loves to stand in the kitchen in hopes a piece of ground beef will fall out of the skillet, or a slice of turkey will fall off the cutting board.

She likes to go on walks, but she acts like she doesn’t. When she hears the “wanna go for a walk” call, she doesn’t even look up from the couch until the other dogs are leashed up and the door is open. She then meanders over to get her leash clipped on to her flower collar. On the walk, she’ll probably want to take a 10 minute break on the first spot of shady grass she sees. If it’s over 60 degrees, her breathing sounds like a lawnmower.

Wrigley thinks she’s a human. In fact, she has a lot of similarities to real fat women.

Similarity #1: She sits around all day doing nothing

Similarity#2: She loves hot dogs (also known as weiners in some places).

Similarity #3: She has a terrible sense of fashion.

Similarity #4: She hangs out with fatter creatures that make her look better.

Her best friend Ellie the Elephant makes her look skinny

Similarity #5: The older she gets, the more she lets herself go.

Similarity #6: Did I mention she’s lazy?

Cesar Millan has nothing on Wrigley, she is so awesomely stubborn it makes me proud. As Fat as Wrigley gets I will always love her…even if i end up needing a bigger size doggy door.


2 responses

  1. What a cute little dog.

    Our family dog is a chocolate colored Lab named Sparks. She is so fat that people sometime mistake her for a bear or a brown pig. LOL. She is three years old and is my wife’s constant companion. Whenever my wife eats the dog eats as well because they share snacks. Since my wife likes to eat every two hours or so, the dog has grown enormous. We’re going to have to put her on a diet soon because If she gets any fatter, I’m afraid her belly will end up dragging on the ground.

  2. Pingback: Fat Dogs | Fatty Lane

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