FUNNEL BACAKONATOR– If that sounds pretty awesome, it’s because it is.
Funnel cake covered in bacon, smothered in strawberry and chocolate sauce. Where can you you get this awesomely delicious monstrosity? At a NASCAR event. DUUUUH! The Charlotte Motor Speedway has unveiled two new concession stands to promote Saturday night’s Bank of America 500 Sprint Cup Race. Now I know what you’re thinking “why would Bank of America sponsor an event whose fans don’t use banks?” Good question, but back to the FUNNEL BACAKONATOR!!!!!! I ‘d like to think this was thunk up after closing by a drunk redneck concession stand worker.
Now, I know what you’re thinking NASCAR fans, “i eat that shit for breakfast, that won’t feel me up.” Don’t worry, you’ll need the extra room for the pimento mac and cheese burger covered in fried pork skin.
After these two concession stand trips and 28 beers, you’ll probably need to take a dump. However, the pipes might be a little clogged. Enter the “Danica Patrick Fit Fuel Menu.” This menu contains items like turkey and veggie burgers, fruits,vegetables, trail mix and energy bars, it will surely get the diarrhea flowing. It’s unknown how redneck NASCAR fans will react to this menu. I don’t know if any of them have had fruit besides fruit cocktail or vegetables besides Mcdonalds french fries. They might need to stick to the…