“One double Venti Soy Vanilla Latte with 7 pumps” says the overweight woman in front of me at Starbucks to the man behind the counter. “Soy milk is better for you than regular milk” she tells her fat friend.
While eating at 5 napkin burger, I listen to the fat woman behind me telling her friends how she “puts on muscle so easily” and how she “used to have a 6 pack…well maybe not a full 6 pack but definitely a 4 pack.” She orders the vegetable roll and a diet coke and tells her in shape friends “Sushi is good for you.”
Fat People love to tell their friends how great they feel and how healthy they are. Here are the top 10 ways fat people try to act healthy.
10.Fat free chips
It’s still a potato chip.
9.100 calorie packs
Putting cookies in a bag and writing 100 calories makes them healthy? Don Draper would be proud.
Give me extra pumps mr. Starbucks man because I got soy milk!
7.Fat Free Cream Cheese
This will go great on those healthy fat free bagels…
Pass the salt shaker.
Diabetes in a bottle
“Yeah give me two #4 combo meals and an extra side of fries…oh an a diet coke please.”
3. I can’t believe it’s not butter
Processed Vegetable oil spread. Yeah I’ll use that one.
Everyone knows froyo is a vehicle for toppings!
1.Whole Grain foods
I need my “hearty healthy whole grains” , now where’s the syrup?