Overeaters Anonymous and SSBBW anonymous

Overeaters Anonymous is an organization that helps overeaters get over their eating problems..anonymously. Here are the 12 steps to successfully stop overeating.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Pretty standard as far as 12 step programs go. But if you want to become the worlds fattest SSBBW, it’s going to take some hard work…anonymously. Here are the 12 steps to successfully become an SSBBW

  1. We admitted we were are fatter than everyone else— that the world record is in our sight.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could make us fatter.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the Flying Spaghetti Monster .
  4. Made a searching and fearless grocery list and took a snack inventory of our kitchens and refrigerators.
  5. Took a nap.
  6. Were entirely ready to have Susanne Eman and Pauline Potter over for dinner.
  7. Humbly asked them to remove our short skinny-comings.
  8. Made a list of all the things we ate and became willing to eat more next time.
  9. Made direct amends to senior citizens who had to walk when all the mobility scooters were taken.
  10. Continued to eat and sit and sit and eat.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Flying Spaghetti Monster as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out…and then we ate Him.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we got diabetes and an obese parking spot. We will now spread the word of Love. We are no longer anonymous.
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