A Big Fat Knee Slapper at White Castle


Damn you White Castle and your normal sized chairs. Martin Kessman just wants to sit down and enjoy his #2 Combo. The problem is he can’t. Not only could he not wedge himself into a booth, he also bumped his knee.

After hitting his knee on one the metal supports, he had to limp out of the restaurant. It’s one thing to have a hard time fitting into a seat, but when you start bumping your knee, a line needs to be drawn. So Martin did the only logical thing someone who bumped his knee would do, he filed a lawsuit against White Castle.

Martin states that like pregnant women and handicapped people, he has rights too. It’s not fair that his knee hurts because the booth at White Castle was too small. He hopes one day all fat people can go into restaurants without the worry of bumping their knees.

Martin K(ne)essman


Martin says he “isn’t humungous” and claims he has no trouble fitting into seats on airlines or booths at other dining establishments. After writing 3 letters to White Castle, he received coupons for free hamburgers…but the cheese wasn’t included. What a slap in the knee. White Castle has the nerve to make Martin buy his own cheese for his free burgers. He feels this violates his civil rights as a fat man. Martin is seeking bigger booths and unspecified damages. I suppose he could have avoided all this and sat in a chair…



4 responses

  1. I once bumped my knee on a booth at Friendly’s, it left a bruise and everything. Now that Mr. Kessman has paved the way, I’m going to contact them and demand free sundaes. Thank you for posting this.

  2. It’s good that some brought this issue to light. With the majority of Americans overweight, the fatties represent the lion share of the patrons that the fast food industry depends on. It’s about time they made accommodations for their best customers. There is nothing worse than having your date or your wife stuffed uncomfortably into a chair or booth that is too small for their massive frame. Fat people need to be comfortable at their favorite fast food place. A comfortable fatso is a happy fatso and thus willing to stay longer, eat more and spend more money.

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